Dad remembered - Father's Day -

[cellboy]

Every year Father's Day rolls around, I think of him, and as I have grown older, now understand and relate to the thoughts and feeling he tried to convey to me when I was young. He wasn't perfect nor a perfect parent. But looking back, I am really proud of what he accomplished and had become over the years. Some of this is sketchy, for I was so young, but this what I remember, I'll try to make this short:

1. Born in 1913, the baby of 15 children, in a small French Canadian community of Plessisville, Quebec. He was a ginger boy. A red head. And that man would never age! The photo was taken in the mid 60's, when he was about 53. In his 60's and 70's he still looked 10 yrs younger!

2. His family was not wealthy enough to send my dad to college or trades school. But my dad worked jobs( an I think borrowed money from his siblings), taught himself to speak English (for he knew that was the language of business, and it would get him somewhere). He later graduated with a degree in Mechanical Engineering. Later got a good job, as designer for a company in Sherbrooke, Que, that fabricated machinery from food processing plants, to machines that pressed the Communion Hosts, to even weapons (for WWII). Later on in the late 50's, he and a friend purchased land and designed and built a small subdivision of homes. As time went on, he later moved our family to California, and worked as the head of the estimating department for a company that produced sewage treatment plants for cities nation wide.

3. He was a genius when it came to math and science. You could rattle off numbers in a sequence, and he could add, subtract, divide, and come up with the correct sum. Constantly during my childhood and young adolescence, I could see him at the kitchen table designing something. Either a perpetual motion machine (which according to his physics calculations should of worked, but never moved far enough in the pool), to safety light/laser beams to prevent cars on the highway from hitting each other (he never applied for patents on those or other things).

4. But what I remember most was his humor. He, as my mom was, were very social. They always has people over for dinner, hosted parties, or were always at parties (just like me! LOL). My dad was one big flirt! Even at restaurants, he would flirt with the waitresses. My mom, god bless her, would just roll her eyes. I was always red faced and embarrassed. LOL

5. My dad raised my sister and I the best he knew how. He as not openly demonstrative in showing his love for me. Maybe it was the era he was raised in. Or maybe it was the way he was. But mom always told me he really loved me, he just does not know how to demonstrate it. But looking back, at my history with him. I know he loved me the best he could.

6. He was not up on sports, but one thing he loved to do was play tennis. In spite of one half of his thumb,and two fingers missing, he was really an excellent tennis player. He got me into it too. We played tennis a lot together. I miss that. And coming from Canada, snow skiing was shared with the family as well.

7. His other passion were piano playing, drawing and oil painting. And all of that with half of his thumb, and 2 fingers missing. The piano is gone, but I have many of his drafting sketches, painting and drawing in my home.

8. As time rolled on, my sister, gets married starts her own family. I am later on my own as well. And as I get older, my dad and I bond a bit closer.

9. One memory that sticks in my mind was the day I came out to my parents. My mom freaked out, of course. And the first thing my dad asked was, "What happens in a gay bar?" He seemed to deal with my coming out just fine. And he really got to like my partner of 9 yrs, Larry. They had a lot in common. They both enjoyed machinery, tinkering, and music. They would talk on endlessly about everything.

10. Then in the mid 1970's, dad curious why he kept dropping the tennis racket, and stuff around the home. The family, is hit with devastating news, that he has ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). The disease progresses slowly. So over 10 yr period, I watch my dad slowly loose lots of weight, and lose what is most important to him; the use of his arms. He could no longer play tennis, paint, play the piano, hold a pencil, or even feed himself. My mom, bless her soul, took care of him to his last days (it was her strength, that gave me the strength to take care of Larry during his 8 yr bout with AIDS).

11. But all though those hard and last few years, my dad never complained (at least publicly), and always had his wit, a smile, and that flirtatious humor.

12. The last and final memory of my dad, were his last few days in the hospital, in Roseville, CA, in 1989. He was still trying to keep up his wit, and sense of humor through it all. About an hour before he went into a coma, he asked to see each us. To say his goodbye. I remember it like it just happened yesterday. He looked me straight in my eyes and said, "I love you". About 3 hrs later he had passed.

13. I love you dad, and miss you. Thank you for adopting me, and being the best loving dad one could have. Happy Father's Day. :)