POZ or NEG - a dating reality

[cellboy]

I have met men that are HIV positive and HIV negative that will only date those of the same status. And some who will date either. I myself have been with both. My long time partner was HIV positive. We were together for over 9 yrs. I was, and still am, negative.

So posed as a question. Would you date someone who's HIV status is opposite to yours? Would you consider a long term relationship with one who's HIV status is opposite of yours? Do you weed out the men on line, when status is disclosed on their profile?

Responses can be posted anonymously if so desired

Comments

[akil.livejournal.com]

I have dated HIV+ men in the past. I don't actively sero-sort online and have never turned anyone away because of his status. From the time I was a teenager, I've never been able to understand why people do.

[bukephalus.livejournal.com]

I struggle with this all the time. I date both poz and neg men, but the truth is I'd rather end up with someone HIV neg like me so we don't have to use condoms. But sometimes it seems like the number of single, eligible, HIV- bottoms is vanishingly small.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

So true. Be nice to have a relationship (monogamous or trusting) where barebacking would be fine.

[liquid-wayno.livejournal.com]

it doesn't make much difference to me, either way.. not these days. I don't do the 'butt-sex' much, and try to play safe regardless. Definitely not a deal-breaker.

It's a complicated idea....

[(Anonymous)]

I have been dating...I guess that's the right term...a guy who is poz and I'm neg. It's caused me way too much anxiety and I had to ask to just be friends...despite being very attracted to him and feel very close. Not really sure what to do about it, but I know until I can be calmer about it, it's not for me.

Re: It's a complicated idea....

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

I know it is a hard decision. After I lost my partner to AIDS, I felt that after going though the pain, and I suppose horror of the last 6 yrs of his life, I said I would never go through that again. So I avoided dating poz people. But that was at a time when all of this was so new. But over the years I have been more open. In fact I have slept with many people that are positive, being safe of course. If I met someone who I was truly in love with, and would want to spend the rest of our lives together, maybe sero-status would not matter. However, again my first choice would be someone healthy (just think of the fun unsafe sex we could have:).
Don't be too anxious about it. If you love him, and he loves you, somehow time will work things out that is the best for you both.