An oldie but goodie :)

[cellboy]

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk
all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
________________________________

Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.
_______________________________

Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then
chain the pens to the counters.
________________________________

Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of
dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
________________________________

Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and
buns in packages of eight.
________________________________

Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with
Braille lettering.
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EVER WONDER.....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
________________________________

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
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Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
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Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
_______________________________

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
________________________________

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons?
________________________________

Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
________________________________

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush
hour?
________________________________

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
________________________________

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
________________________________

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
________________________________

You know that indestructible black box that is used on
airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
________________________________

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
________________________________

Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?
________________________________

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?
________________________________

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal

Comments

My personal theory

[jackiesjunkie.livejournal.com]

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Mascara STINKS so you have to have your mouth open to breath without having to smell it. ;-)