Awkward Moment with Grandma

Live Journal Editing

I don't understand why we have to see the pre-edited, original version here or in our emails. Usually if you are editing something, isn't the original version the one that you don't want anyone to see?

How to speak Essex

How to speak Essex!!
This is an invaluable guide......for those of you that are planning to venture into darkest depths of Essex.
A task not for the faint-hearted

alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item
amant - Quantity; sum total ('Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend')
assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc
awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ('That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day')
branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ('Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?')
cort a panda - A rather large hamburger
Dan in the maff - Unhappy ('Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit Dan in the maff')
eye-eels - Women's shoes
Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre
garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: 'Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs at go in the garrij cos it aint working proper')
Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island
lafarjik - Lacking in energy ('I feel all lafarjik')
OI OI! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs
paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport
reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ('I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the rebandfrom Craig')
Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday
tan - The city of London, the big smoke
webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. ('Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour')
wonnid- 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police
zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ('I told ya a fazzand times already')

Thin Ice------burrrrrrrrrrr

Compilation of Reporters Getting Owned

The Wisdom of Ronald Reagan

"A moment I've been dreading. George brought his ne'er-do-well son
around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the
political one who lives in Florida; the one who hangs around here all
the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40
and has never had a real job. Maybe I'll call Kinsley over at The New
Republic and see if they'll hire him as a contributing editor or
something. That looks like easy work."

From THE REAGAN DIARIES
Entry dated May 17,1986

Torch Tour

Good thing I did not go to the Olympic Torch Ceremony today. It did not happen. In fact I probably would of not seen anything.... since routes were changed last minute, don't you know....