Mother's Day Update/ back from Sac

1. Got back from Sac a few minutes ago
2. I feel bad: I missed my best friend's event (sfmijo) today, for could not get out of Sac fast enough. In fact I missed 2 events.
3. But at this point family comes first
4. Got up to Roseville Saturday late afternoon; surprised mom with flowers.
5. She is still in convalescent hosp. But edema is lessening, and may be released this week
6. Stayed at Sisters and brother-in-laws. Had 2 delicious apple martini's, red wine with dinner, and slept like a baby
7. Went to see mom today; and surprised her with the fact that I was taking her to my sisters for Mother's day lunch. She was sooo happy. Happy to get out of there for awhile
8. Took her to the house, which closes escrow on Friday. She walked the empty rooms, reminisced, said goodbye to my Dad (she feels his spirit is in that home) and said her goodbye's to the home. And said "Now we again turn another page in our life."
9. Salmon for lunch, asparagus, couscous, champagne. Pics to follow later
10. Then later we took Mom to see the home care facility she will go to next week if released.
11. The home is beautiful. Looks like a million dollars. The people running the home are so nice. The staff, some are Russian. And the husband is Russian (Woof!!!!).
12. She with the other 5 patients will get better care; one on one; and as the Dr. said, if she stays in the convalescent hosp too long, she won't get better. This place is better. A step up in care. Therefore recovery faster.
13. So she will be paying for this, and her apt, which she is hopes to get back to soon. If not, we will put her furniture in storage. Then later if she is ready, we can always move her back to the senior apt complex.
14. OY! Such work!
15. Mom had a wonderful day with the family. I am glad she did
16. I am proud of my mom. Even though she has been going 4 steps forward, then 3 back; she always has never complained too much. A trooper. Something I need to remember and learn for myself.
17 I Love you Mom
18 Happy Mother's day. And thank you for adopting me. You could not of been a better Mom. Better than most birth mothers.

bad and dirty jokes

q.) what do you get when you cross raggedy ann and the pillsbury dough boy?
a.) a red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

q.) why does a penis have a hole in the end?
a.) so men can be open minded.

q.) what's the speed limit of sex?
a.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

q.) three words to ruin a man's ego...
a.) "is it in?"

( q.) what does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
( a.) they both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

gay hot tub
hot tub full of gay guys.
condom floats to the top.
1 guy goes, "who farted?"

a gay lunch
two gay men live in a house. one is upstairs, getting ready for work. he goes down stairs and finds the other one, jerking off in a condom. so the one goes, "what the fuck are you doing?!?" the other one replies, "I'm packing your lunch"

a black man and hispanic are in a car together, who is driving?..............................................a cop.

Work it out
You like fuck dumb a is who person retarded another to it send now, this reading time ass sweet your took you... (read it backwards)

the penis poem
my nookie days are over, my pilot light is out. what used to be my sex appeal is now my water spout. time was when, on it's own accord, from my trousers it would spring. but now i've got a full time job to find the fucking thing... it used to be embarrassing the way it would behave. for every single morning it would stand and watch me shave. now as old age approaches it sure gives me the blues, to see it hang it's head and watch me tie my shoes...

Not a joke, but check it out

while sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
your foot will change direction and there's nothing you can do about it.