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Seniors revisited
Jun. 1st, 2008 09:10 pmBack from Roseville, from visiting mom, and my sister, Diane. This may be a bit tedious or repetitive, but here are some thoughts on the aged, and what I experienced this weekend. Yes. Mom is doing better. But some days are good, some days are not as good. Saturday when I got to the home care facility, I walked in the front door. And my cute mom was standing there to greet me (without her walker.... showoff!); I greeted the other ladies (there are 5 in the home). Met Tara. Very friendly, talkative, and I bet a bit feisty. Missing her upper teeth, but cute. And a gruff smoky voice. Bet she drank and partied in her day. That woman, though is a smart one. And seemed to enjoy helping in the kitchen. And then there is Loretta. The poor woman has Alzheimer's. But friendly. And of course every time I walked back in the huge family room, I am a new person or new friend to her. So I again, introduce myself to her :). This woman, I think not too long ago, was very glamorous. The "look" of the 40's and 50's. She actually has that Anne Bancroft look. I bet she broke a lot of hearts in her day. Then there is, a woman (the name has slipped my mind), who is 95 yrs old. And, my mom says is the smart one of the group. She is addicted to crossword puzzles. And finishes them! So yes, all are old, sick, maybe feeble in their own ways. But all are trying to keep busy in the household, watching for each other; a way to find a reason, to keep on going. To keep on living.
So we had a nice visit. Moms mind, and spirits were good. The staff, are so kind. Shela, the owner of this home (one of 2 facilities) has her husband (god damn hot man!) and her kids, and some other young people to help care for the women there. They are from Russia, and are the kindest gentlest people; just watching them care for the others, gives us comfort in knowing mom is cared for in the same way. The home is over 3000 sq ft. Huge rooms, huge beautiful furniture, all very European with some Russian flare. And all of this, is much less, actually half of what the convalescent hospital would cost after her 100 days of Medicare coverage expires. And it feels or is a home. Not a cold institution.
I of course, stubborn as I am, sometime refuse to really see what is going on with my mom. But this time, I saw. Yes at times she is somewhat alert, then at other times, you look into her eyes, and she is just not there. Our visit was fine. Then it was time for dinner. I left and when to her apt (and the senior community) made myself a TV dinner, and relaxed. I then later went back, to visit mom. She was a bit more tried, and was ready to get to bed. So as I waited till she changed into her PJ's,,,,, it took her over 45 minutes to change! That was one of many signs, telling me, she will never go back to her home. Unless a miracle happens, she may be at this place forever. My heart wants and hopes she goes back, but logic says no. We said our good nights, and I left. Too tired to go out to the bars, I stayed in (at my mom's apt). I actually fell asleep on the sofa watching TV.
Today, met my sister for breakfast, then went to see mom. We asked her what she wanted from her place, to put in her room. She wanted some photo albums, some of my dad's oil paintings, some of her porcelain birds, my aunts petty points, just stuff to make her feel more at home. We obliged, went to the apt, and retrieved that and a bit more. Mom was happy. And what is good, is that she now realizes that we
cannot keep the apt and have her stay in this place. It would break the bank. So we decided to put her furniture in pod storage. Other stuff we will keep, or give away. And if she does get better, and able to move back, then she can get another apt. My mom was actually extremely fine with all of this. Very accepting. My sister and I know this will never happen. She will never go home. And I think that deep down, my mom may realized it too. But there, at least for my mom, the possibility of going home, is giving her some hope, a reason to keep on going. To keep on living.
So we had a nice visit. Moms mind, and spirits were good. The staff, are so kind. Shela, the owner of this home (one of 2 facilities) has her husband (god damn hot man!) and her kids, and some other young people to help care for the women there. They are from Russia, and are the kindest gentlest people; just watching them care for the others, gives us comfort in knowing mom is cared for in the same way. The home is over 3000 sq ft. Huge rooms, huge beautiful furniture, all very European with some Russian flare. And all of this, is much less, actually half of what the convalescent hospital would cost after her 100 days of Medicare coverage expires. And it feels or is a home. Not a cold institution.
I of course, stubborn as I am, sometime refuse to really see what is going on with my mom. But this time, I saw. Yes at times she is somewhat alert, then at other times, you look into her eyes, and she is just not there. Our visit was fine. Then it was time for dinner. I left and when to her apt (and the senior community) made myself a TV dinner, and relaxed. I then later went back, to visit mom. She was a bit more tried, and was ready to get to bed. So as I waited till she changed into her PJ's,,,,, it took her over 45 minutes to change! That was one of many signs, telling me, she will never go back to her home. Unless a miracle happens, she may be at this place forever. My heart wants and hopes she goes back, but logic says no. We said our good nights, and I left. Too tired to go out to the bars, I stayed in (at my mom's apt). I actually fell asleep on the sofa watching TV.
Today, met my sister for breakfast, then went to see mom. We asked her what she wanted from her place, to put in her room. She wanted some photo albums, some of my dad's oil paintings, some of her porcelain birds, my aunts petty points, just stuff to make her feel more at home. We obliged, went to the apt, and retrieved that and a bit more. Mom was happy. And what is good, is that she now realizes that we
cannot keep the apt and have her stay in this place. It would break the bank. So we decided to put her furniture in pod storage. Other stuff we will keep, or give away. And if she does get better, and able to move back, then she can get another apt. My mom was actually extremely fine with all of this. Very accepting. My sister and I know this will never happen. She will never go home. And I think that deep down, my mom may realized it too. But there, at least for my mom, the possibility of going home, is giving her some hope, a reason to keep on going. To keep on living.
