Proof That The World is NuTs!

[cellboy]

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but
the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male
animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals,
but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the
examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This
also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be
covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
(A brick?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.!
(Much worse than "going blind!")
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the
countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the
privilege of having sex for the first time
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to
marry.
(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in
the world that even comes close to this?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her
adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in
any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in
tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and
the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to
witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a
woman and her daughter at the same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this
law?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines
with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending
machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for
consumption on the premises."
(Is this a great country or what?
Well, not as great as Guam!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own
weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of???)
(Did the government pay for this research??)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Ah, geez.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that, too)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And, the best for last?
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

Comments

[theoctothorpe.livejournal.com]

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

That's a bunch of crap.

Primates do it all the time, as do several other species (and yes, homosexual acts as well).

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

True. I only send these jokes as I receive them. I will however have to ask my turtle about his breathing :)