crummy week; maybe next week will be better? I'm feeling guilty

[cellboy]

1. Work sucks. Worked this weekend to get property ready for the inspections
2. Our vendors are backlogged, so completion on some of our vacancies, is not competed as scheduled. That's not good. Not ready, no leases, no occupancy. And they blame me?
3. Mom is back in the hospital. She was on the verge of congestive heart failure. Long story, but she sounds fine on the phone. But her back and spine in pain. If things don't improve, we will have to break the news to her, that she will not be going back to her nice apt. Assisted living is the next step.
4. I woke up last night in tears. I don't think she will last long :( . This is when I start praying.
5. Good news, and she is happy about this. We have the papers for her to sign. House in contract, and will be firmed up Saturday, when she signs. I have power of attorney, if anything happens before, then I can sign
6. So up all weekend in Sac, to see mom, get paperwork done, and help my SD guy load up some stuff he bought from my mom.
7. My mom has a slight case of pneumonia. She had it last yr too. My sister and I were talking about, how hard it will be for my mom living, not independently. And if her pain persists, it is not a way to complete her life. We both thought at the same time, that if she went to sleep and never woke up, it would be a nice end, to a nice life.
8. Should I feel guilty about thinking this? Then I am wondering if she is just waiting for me to get up there. Then once I am there............
9. Sorry for the downer. I just needed to ramble.

Comments

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

Pneumonia? Congestive heart failure? A handful of broken vertebra? No. You mother probably won't be going back to her apartment. Assisted living may even be optimistic. Investigate the next step.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

The next step has been investigated, and in place. Thanks :) But one always tries to be optimistic. That's what keeps us all going.

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

In my case, I dealt with things better taking a cold, analytical approach. It told me what my options were long before I needed them and while everyone else was wringing their hands, I knew what had to be done and had a path forward.

With that being said, I've often wondered if it might be better to just "feel" something.