Slow going... My mom is going "home".

[cellboy]

This may be a bit depressing for some. But just an update. It's been an interesting weekend. A bad one. And a good one in retrospect
My mom went to the Dr on Friday. He decided that my mom be sent to the hospital, to run tests on her. Easier, than sending her to many locations for different tests.
2. Last weekend, my mom was out of it. And very tired. This time worse.
3. Her UTI had returned, hence more antibiotics, hence the return of Cidiff. The bacterial bug that takes over the intestines when one has too much antibiotics(good bacteria is killed)
4. So as of Friday, she is in the hospital. Her heart has increased in size, due to the edema that she had had for awhile. She has lost tremendous weight from diarrhea, due to the C-dif.
5. As of Friday she had responded to my sister and hospital staff only a few times. Her eyes were mostly closed. She was more confused as time went on.
6. I arrived Saturday afternoon. She was sleeping, on oxygen, and intravenous solutions to get her chemistry back to as normal as it can get. She only opened her eyes once, when I called her name. She is just sleeping, having diffculty breathing.
7. My sister and I have been spending most of the day still in the process of packing up her apt. Loading our cars, and setting aside some of the larger items for storage.
8 I went back to the hospital Sat before dinner to say good night to mom. I don't really know if she heard me. But I think she did.
9 Not sleeping too well at my sisters, I was up early, and off to visit mom
10 She looked even worse. Coughing with that filled lungs sound. And not opening her eyes. Not too responsive to my voice. I tried to feed her, she took a little, but would not chew.
11. So I sat with her, talked about what I could. Family stuff. Thanking her for being a wonderful mother. Thanking her for adopiing me. Loving me. And spoiling me rotten :)
12. My sister joined later.
13. We finally met with the Dr. He said that we could keep her on all the current medications she had been on for quite awhile. Keep her hooked up to the feeding machines etc. She may get out of here. But would be back in a week. Starting this all over again. And she would be in worse condition. Her body is shutting down.
14. My mom many a time said that if it came to this, this is not the quality of life to live.
15. So out of my mom's wishes, and knowing that her 86 yrs of life for the most part were lived to the fullest, agreed with the Dr to withhold the meds etc. And give her "comfort care".
16. Morphine for the pain. And her oxygen.
17. Her breaths are shorter now that they were this morning
18. The good thing is that she is in sleep, not really aware of what is happening ( I think)
19. Last weekend was harder for me than now. I have come to accept and face the next step.
20. So we are just waiting...... waiting for that call tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I hope I can be there for her last moment. The moment when she will finally be free of pain. It's been a hard 2 yrs for her.
Night

Comments

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Thank you :)