Mourning rambleings

[cellboy]

1.Strange thing about this, is that I have not really broken down as yet. I know it will happen when ready.
2.When I look at pictures of Mom, I get teary eyed, and a lump in my throat, but that is it. I have cried a few times, but not major as yet. Maybe I won't? When I keep thinking I have to call her to see how she is doing, then I think, Oh. She is not there; I get a lump in my throat.
3.I feel for my sister. Since she lived near by, she did all my moms banking, taking her to Dr's etc. She certainly is feeling the void.
4. When my partner passed, I was a mess. I held on to some of his clothes for quite awhile. Every time I smelled his scent on them, I would fall apart. But that was a different type of relationship
5. I feel it building up. Maybe when we do the 2 memorial functions next month, it may happen? Or maybe during the holidays.
6. I have been through this before, with my dad, grandmother, and aunts.... this is just a strange and normal process.

Comments

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

My parents died within 6 weeks of each other back in 2002. I haven't cried yet.

I don't know if it's because my BP meds are mellowing me out too much, or if I have too tight of control on my emo state, or WTF? Ya know?

[foucaultonacid.livejournal.com]

it will come when it comes, when you are ready

each grief is different.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

I suppose it is a different thing for each one. Maybe we are to grieve in our own way (not like what we see in the movies). Maybe in your own way you already did? Thanks for sharing.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Exactly :)