What's the deal?

[cellboy]

On the same note as my last post on monogamy. What's the deal? What is it with these men, straight married men,that are out fooling around with other men? I have met some, in person or on line, married men with children, wives, who want one to "host". Most are tops, but some are bottoms too. (I did have a one night stand eons ago when I was coming out, with a friend, while his wife was out of town... that was strange. I was later to learn from others he was out quite a bit in the San Jose bars, when wife out of town). They won't leave their wife, are either bi, or maybe straight and want an easy lay. Talk about complicated. Don't they feel guilty? I would be terribly guilt ridden.

FYI: I stay 1 million feet from these men. Not worth the time (as are the many on line, sadly to say).

I feel sorry that some are desperate to come out, or can't move on with their life, due to various circumstances. Living a double life is hard.

Comments

[tenderandtough.livejournal.com]

I've had my fair share of run in's with married men. I know that it's difficult for them but my thought is, if you are gay, you shouldn't be married to a woman.

I had a guy, back about a year ago who would have been the perfect man for me. We had so much in common. He was a little older than me and he was a christian. Sad part was, he was married and I just couldn't do it. As bas as I wanted to, I just couldn't bring myself to do that to his wife.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

How was he? Was he terribly torn? Or made his mind up to leave his wife? If he is gay, and when ready, he will leave his wife, then begin his life on his own. That is probably the best step. Then if timing is good, maybe later you will meet again :o)

[tenderandtough.livejournal.com]

We talked about that. His basic stance was that he wanted to date a guy. Have sex I think is more like it based on some of the conversations. He said that if he met a guy that he really feel for, he would divorce his wife. But until then, he would just date while married. It made me lose respect for him in a big way.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Hummm. He sounded new to all of this. And dating behind his wifes (or partners) back, no way. I would of sent him on his way too. No sure if I would, but think when I was younger I would of gone into his pants asap. But after yrs of up and downs with some experience, no way. Then think of the complications after? In any case, if he was willing to cheat on his wife, what would he of done with you, if you were later together, and thing were not going well. Would he cheat on you next? Some people just have these habits.

[tenderandtough.livejournal.com]

That was basically my thoughts too. If he so easily cheated on his wife, would I be next? That's another of the reasons I had to let him go. I have been cheated on so I know what it feels like.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Ahhh! Haven't we all. Haven't we all. You know I turned the tables a few times on my cheater boyfriends, me being the cheater. And I felt worse. Good for the moment, but felt not any better for it. In fact remorseful. An eye for an eye is not always a good thing. It's always better to walk away with head held high.