I'm back

[cellboy]

Well I signed the release and my mom finally "escaped" the convalescent home. We went back to her home, and later organized a bit, and she tagged the stuff she wants moved to her new apt. My sister will be taking care of this, while my mom is visiting me. We were a bit nervous, and bit each others heads off from time to time. But I prayed for patience, and counted to ten a lot. So that has helped me tremendously. It's hard seeing my mom moving from her home. It is hard on her too. One more sign of lost independence. They lived there for so long. It seems so much like my home too. But, they say to never get attached to material things. Health and happiness are most important. And what to do with the rest of the furniture? I have no room. Our mahogany piano, that has been with us for almost 60 yrs, may have to go. And it still looks new. Unless other family members want other things, those will have to go too. I wish I had a big place to take it all, but I can't. And I hope my sister and I get along during all of this too.

My mom is not totally well as yet. SHE IS SO SLOW!!! AND SO CONFUSED. I need more patience. It is hard seeing a parent change so quickly. Just a few yrs ago she was playing 18 holes of golf twice a week. Now she can hardly get out of the car, and needs a walker from time to time. She will probably not ever be able to drive again :-(. Damn Doctors. They really screwed up. If only my dad were still alive. It would be so much easier for them to depend on each other.

Tonight is the first night at that she is here. Seven more days left. "God. Please give me the strength of patience........"

This post may not mean anything for anyone, but I needed to vent. And if you have an elderly parent, well you know what I mean. :o)

Comments

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

SHE IS SO SLOW!!! AND SO CONFUSED.

Yeah. I hear you. I watched Woody and Dominic change.

Woody changed slowly over a period of years, getting progressively more confused.

Dominic changed quickly. It was as if something happened when they took his foot, then leg. There were brief flashes when it looked like he was "the same", but then, he's say something and you'd realize that nothing sank in.

As far as parents go, both my parents burned out treying to keep the other one afloat. Neither of them had the energy to do it, so they brought each other down.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

How is Dominic doing by the way? Yeah. I guess both parents can burn each other out. When my dad died (slow death to ALS), my mom really changed after that. For awhile she became younger (she was in her 70's), and actually was seeing or interested in seeing a few men (hummm; just like me (lol). The rebound thing (hummm...just like me (lol). Then a year or two later she suddenly aged.

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

How is Dominic doing by the way?

Not good. While I haven't heard a definitive or current prognosis, the ICU staffers are giving HINTS that they've done all that they can do, he's not getting any better, and the only thing that they're doing at this point is keeping him alive.

I have a hearing scheduled for tomorrow where I ask to be made guardian, then the hospital wants to get together immediately to discuss things. This is when they'll pussyfoot around a DNR and possibly hospice care.

I've HINTED back that I know where this is going, that I have no problem with a DNR and that I truly understand their position.

So, how's he doing? He's mostly out of it, coming to a semi-consciousness every so often. Judging my his facial expressions, he's in pain and I'm going to think a bit warm as he keeps trying to pull his hospital gown off. He's frustrated to be tied up and not having any fun what so ever.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Had he ever discussed a DNR in the past? When he was more coherent?

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

Had he ever discussed a DNR in the past?

Yes. And, let me tell you the story behind that. My mother passed away relatively quickly five years ago. A week after her funeral, my father caught the same pneumonia. We gave him a few weeks on the ventilator, but it got to the point where we realized this wasn't the way Dad wanted to "live" and according to his wishes, we had the ventilator stopped and had him placed in hospice care.

After I came back to Florida, I discussed the whole episode with both Woody and Dominic and we all agreed that none of us wanted to be kept alive by being connected to a machine indefinitely.

And, to be absolutely sure, I went over this with Woody several times in the past few weeks. He agrees. Dominic would not want to be kept alive like this.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Then you will know what is right. And feel fine about it :o)

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

Then you will know what is right. And feel fine about it :o)

Yes. I feel fine about it. It's a dark and ugly job but somebody has to do it.

[tenderandtough.livejournal.com]

My heart goes out to ya babe. I know how hard it is. I have been watching my dad decline over the last 5 years and it's hard to watch.

just hang in there, keep your patience, say lots of prayers and it will all be alright. You can do it!

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Thanks :o). Good thing I live where I work, so at least I can check up on her. I said my prayers last night, and went to the gym very early this morning to blow off steam..... what a help :o)