my health

[cellboy]

I finally received the results of my blood work. They were initially concerned of my liver numbers, which were indicating something, possibly due to the Lipitor that I have been taking for my cholesterol (genetic). Surprisingly, my kidneys are excellent, liver in top shape, and my cholesterol level is at an excellent level (even after yrs of partying!). And my STD's? None. Clean! (thought I would get that test too, since they are poking me with needles, and I am always getting poked (lol)...NOT!!! Well..... mostly not.

I had my percentage of fat measured at the gym. 17%, which is considered excellent for my age.

I think I have beefed up somewhat in the past 15 weeks since I have had a 2 day per week trainer. And working out on the other 3 days. At least that's what people are asking or noticing. This has helped my self esteem, or self confidence quite a bit. But I still, at times have a negative image of myself. I am still sometimes shy, and my self image of myself is not always up. My self confidence is not always strong. Know a lot of it stems from my childhood....but that's another story. I've sat myself down many a time and analyzed my life, present and past, and basically figured it out. I think. But that's another story. A mini novelette :o).

I am just glad to be alive, have the friends and family that I have, perfect or imperfect as they are; as we all are. I would not trade my life for anything in the world.


Now if only I can find Mr. Right. Or if only Mr. Right can find me :o)

Comments

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Hummmm. Hinder? I'm all ears. Be gentle though :o)

[tenderandtough.livejournal.com]

What are you doing up so late? It's it your bed time. :o)

And I'll always be gentle with ya. :o)

I could very well be wrong so remember that this is just my own opinion and if I didn't care, I would share it.

I'm just not so sure that you are going to find a quality guy on some of the sites that you use. Now granted, I do agree that some good relationships have developed as a result of a few choice dating sites, but by and large, most of the sites out there are geared towards sex. If it's just sex you are looking for, then that's your choice and the sites are probably right for you. But if you are looking for a quality guy to have a serious, maybe lifelong relationship with, which is what it sounds like you really want, then I don't know that you are going to find it on those sites.

I've also noticed that you seem preoccupied with sex, alot. I do understand. Who doesn't like it? But if you go back over your posts, a lot of them have to do with the topic and I think to some people, it's a turn off. Of course, the other folks will like it. :o) No matter how much sex you have, it won't replace love. And while it makes you feel good about yourself for a minute (because it means someone else is attracted to you enough to want to sleep with you), it won't help build your self-esteem like finding a great relationship can. Trust me on this, I know what I am talking about because I have been there.

If you want to find a decent quality guy, he is gonna want to know about you. The real you. What you think about things, how you feel about things, things that interest you outside of the bedroom, things you are passionate about in life. In short, he's gonna be attracted to your heart and mind. He may be attracted to you physically, as he should be, but the things that are going to matter, to form a lasting healthy relationship, are going to be those things that bond two people together for life.

I think that there is probably a wonderful heart and mind in you. I'm willing to place a bet that more people out there would like to see that side of you. It can make a man extremely attractive.

You can of course delete this if you want to and you won't hurt my feelings.

Still friends? :o)

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Of course still friends. And you are right. I know this in my heart for sure. And I have noted this, in previous posts, the sex thing, being an empty feeling. And not the only factor in finding love. That I know all too well. The sites are more for fun, although possibly a rarity, I know quite a few that have met on these sites, and have been together for quite a long time. Some advertise as only for dating, and LTR, not the quick hookup thing. So maybe it works for some. And yes I sometimes am preoccupied, but much of it is spin, exaggerated. And some of it is for recreation. And maybe just a bit of shock value (I am a Scorpio you know). And maybe it is easier to talk about that, than the inner soul at times. The area, the friends, being next to the "gay capitol" does influence. The scene is lax on recreational sex. And not a bad thing. The sites are really for the recreation, not really to meet someone for life. I really don't expect to meet someone for life in a bar either. Although in the old days, I did meet a few bf's in my time. I go out to meet good friends, and if I happen to meet someone, great. I actually expect to meet someone at a nondescript place, store, post office, coffee shop. I had joined the gay church yrs ago, and did the after service functions, which was nice. A lot were the same that you see in the bars; go figure. Maybe living in the country, things are different for you. I have had it before. My late partner swept me off my feet, not on a sex site, or a bar, but at a BBQ in the suburbs. Our sex was not the best in the world, but our love was very strong. Ten years strong (and monogamous)And after he passed away, I did the unthinkable, rebounded into a terrible abusive relationship.....so after I broke up, I really just laid low, and really did not date, or even didn't think the sex thing for quite awhile, except for the rare tryst. But I somehow came out of the shell, and maybe the pendulum swug too much the other way.... but guess that is part of life. Maybe I'm making up for the lost time, and acting a bit like a teenager.. who knows. I do have a good heart and mind. At least that's what my friends say. And they see that side of me in person. As for relationships? Timing is the key. Thank you for your kind opinion. Obsessed? You should see my other friends (lol)
Hugs
Rick

I think I babble too much. Did I get off the subject???:o)
(

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Note: Also, the odd thing, is that in person, I rarely talk about sex constantly(friends, correct me if I'm wrong) all the time, unless I'm sorta on the make. That goes for politics and religion too. Of course I think about it often (the "male" thing=normal). Dang! I was up late! Yawn! :o)