Does bisexuality

[cellboy]

really exist?

I have met several men, who claim to be bisexual. Some, are a bit confused. Or they are somewhat like a straight man. When "Playing" they will not kiss, caress, reciprocate. Basically that they only want to be "serviced". So are they just saying they are bi for the easy, or easier sex? Some of my friends say they don't exist. Or they can't admit totally to their gayness. So they opt to label themselvs as Bi. I know they do exist. The sexuality scale gradient is grey, not black and white. Or maybe the ones I have met are bogus. In any case, my experience with this years ago, has opted me to stay away from them.

Comments

[grizzlyzone.livejournal.com]

You know, I was thinking about this last night as a matter of fact. I seem to have had relationships with a lot of "bisexual" men. Of course, "bisexual" is my term for these guys. Not theirs. They all call themselves "gay" (at least to me). They're all "ex-straights", who have been married and/or have sired children and now "walk on the wild side". In other words, they suck, and, in a good way.

In any event, I don't think there is a helluvalot of difference between "bisexual men who don't kiss (suck)" and "100% totally tops". After all, they both have that damned chauvinistic attitude of "Me Tarzan, you bendover" that says that that are those who are expected to "service". Bulls*!

If you wanna play under those rules, fine. That's up to you. But, if you don't, methinks you're either using the wrong bait or fishing in the wrong pond.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Good point. I have met 100% tops that are great kissers, suck well, and such. And if they "really" like you may let you top, at least once. And they love it. I met a cute divorced man, newly out, says he is only a top, and gave me the best BJ ever. And he said he never rimmed. Well he sure surprised me later :-). One never knows what can happen at times ;-).

[urbear]

Bisexuals definitely exist; they're just lost in the crowd of closeted gay men who claim to be bisexual. In fact, I know three of them personally; all three are comfortable and affectionate with other men, but also enjoy intimacy with women. That's not to say it's always 50/50... all three tend more towards gay relationships. But they definitely identify as bisexual, and in fact two of them are prominent in the community and talk frequently about bisexual issues.

Oh, and all three live in New England and are on LJ: trapezebear, hwynym and wolfbear.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

And they are cute too! :o). But if one wanted to settle down, with a partner, possibly in a monogamous relationship, that may be a bit complicated? One man I know said, it really comes down to who you really feel safe and secure with at end of the day, or when you wake up in the morning. He chose a man. That security for him is greater.

[urbear]

That's an old fallacy about bisexuals... monogamy can't work with them. It really doesn't make any sense. OK, so they're attracted to both men and women... so what? If you're not bisexual, you may also be attracted to many people who are not your spouse; they just all happen to be the same sex, that's all. If you can maintain a monogamous relationship, a bisexual man should be able to as well. It's no better, and no worse.

Of course, being bisexual can lead to some funny situations. I went to Six Flags New England's gay day last weekend with bear_left, hwynym and trapezebear... and hwynym brought two of his kids with him, an 11-year-old daughter and a 14-year-old son. Both of them were completely unfazed by the prospect of trooping around the park with their dad and three faggots, and both had a great time.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Yes. That makes sense. I do know someone, possibly 60% into men, that did settle down with a man. Think he was getting tired of jumping back and fourth (lol). Might be rare, but guess what ever works, works. Younger kids are unfazed these days. Thank God for that. When I went to Gay night at Great America (Santa Clara), the only people that were fazed were the gay dads and moms. All the kiddie rides were shut down. No one at GA, thought that maybe gay people might have young kids. That was 2 yrs ago. Hopefully this year it was different :o)

[nlotic.livejournal.com]

I've had the pleasure of meeting Jim/hwynym in person. He's a great guy and has helped me out a lot. After he divorced his wife, he actually dated a woman (which was kinda shocking to his ex-wife).

"That's an old fallacy about bisexuals... monogamy can't work with them. It really doesn't make any sense. OK, so they're attracted to both men and women... so what? If you're not bisexual, you may also be attracted to many people who are not your spouse; they just all happen to be the same sex, that's all. If you can maintain a monogamous relationship, a bisexual man should be able to as well. It's no better, and no worse."

Great explanation...I couldn't have said it better myself.

[nlotic.livejournal.com]

"But if one wanted to settle down, with a partner, possibly in a monogamous relationship, that may be a bit complicated?"

No...because sexuality has to do with more than just action (sex), it's who you are attracted to. I can't change who I'm attracted to, but I do have a choice whether or not to act on those attractions.

[nlotic.livejournal.com]

I consider myself bisexual. I have been and continue to be attracted to both men and women. I work sexually with both men and women. I can't speak for other people, I only know what I feel and who I'm attracted too.

[cellboy.livejournal.com]

Thanks! This is interesting. I have known much of this, but always nice to hear opinions. I have know a few women and men that are doing just fine. I think I have also met some that really are 100% gay, and are so uncomfortable with the that fact, they say they are bi, to make it sound less worse in their eyes. Well as to quote Woody Allen, "Bisexuality doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night". I say that to being versatile too :o).

More power to you and those of every spectrum, knowing and being comfortable for who you are. :o). Wish others were that fortunate.
Cheers! And thanks for friending.